Consumers who have purchased Rejuve anti-wrinkle cream are urged to return their products immediately to point of purchase for a full refund. Use of Rejuve manufactured within the last 2 Imperial Standard months may result in temporary paralysis of facial muscles or permanent destruction of related motor nerves.

Embarassment for Metmuri Pharma

Rejuve is one of the leading products of Tion-based Metmuri Pharmaceuticals.  A pioneer in innovative nanite applications for the cosmetic, weight loss, and wellness industries,  Metmuri Pharma exports the Rejuve line of cosmetics widely throughout CAS.  “Properly used, our face cream simply helps retension skin,” says company spokesperson Metmuri Vanees.  “We are still investigating why the nanites in this production batch are not functioning as intended.”

Disaster for Product Users

First reports of something amiss came from Lyndir, where actresses in the boutique circus-cabaret act Freefall reported an unusual itching sensation after using the cosmetic.  “Then they couldn’t smile, couldn’t blink, then couldn’t talk.” Gelina, a grav-belt diver with the troupe, tears up as she reported what transpired with her friends in the dressing room one week ago.  ”It was like they were puppets, dead from the neck up.  Will they ever get better? No one will tell us.”

Problem “not yet resolved”

Metmuri Vanees could not tell this reporter any prognosis for these performers or any other victims of the malfunctioning nanocream. “The nanites appear to be burrowing and retensioning beneath the skin surface, instead of atop,” she explained, “unintentionally damaging nerves and muscle as they do so.  As soon as we know why, we will fix it. You have our word on that.”

Until now, Metmuri Pharma has enjoyed a good reputation in the tailored nanoproducts community.  Their market shares have fallen drastically since this story broke, however, and many retail outlets and wholesalers throughout the sector are refusing to stock any Metmuri cosmetics at all. 

Until this problem is resolved, Lyndir health authorities are echoing the recommendation from Metmuri Pharma:  don’t use Rejuve, and return your purchases to point of sale.

Questions may be directed to the Rejuve hotline, Port Oswin Health Authority, MedNex H3-772.

Hammon Darr, reporting from Port Oswin.

Lyndir’s native monkey-bat population appears to be out of control in the out-dome areas surrounding Port Oswin.  “I’ve never seen them like this before,” says Gela Torlec, a bonepicker who scavenges the outdoor service areas for recyclables.  “They’re everywhere, and they keep stealing things.”  

As we speak, three of the creatures jump down from a nearby storage shed roof, directly into the handcart Torlec pulls on her rounds through the backstreets. Their plunge is controlled by short flopping wings. None of them are longer than a man’s forearm, but their ape-like agility is none the less for their small size.  As Torlec shoo’s them away, they chitter back at her and go only reluctantly, their small hands full of short pipe lengths, bolts, and scrap metal plucked from the cart.  In a moment they are gone.

“See?” she complains with a wave of her hand.  “Some junk they take to their nests, I guess, but they get bored with most of it. I’ll find it all back in the alleys again, scattered from here to the river.”

Predators Die, Population Booms

Monkey-bats, called tree-nippers in local parlance, have been  commonplace in the local jungle since humans first came to Lyndir.  Recently, however, their population seems to have surged.  Dr. Harmon Rann of the Demick Geosurvey Institute thinks he knows why.

“There has been a die-off in their natural predators,” says Rann.  “The great apsid spider normally keeps their population under control, with complex web and trap systems in their jungle habitats. But Lesotrope Pharma recently released a tailored virus to kill predators where deep-jungle bioharvesting is happening in the Harvest Range. It appears that virus traveled more widely than anticipated. Spiders have died off everywhere, and the upsurge in monkey-bats is the result.”

Rann expects the ecosystem will come back into balance naturally. “It’s only a matter of time before virus-immune spiders repopulate, and that will be hastened by the abundance of their natural prey. Until then, though – there’s not much we can do but tolerate the pests.”

Tree-Nippers Good for Business
Garven Toll of the Nippers derevin has a better idea, one he thinks will speed pest-control along. “The Nippers are offering a bounty on monkey-bats,” he announced yesterday.  “We not interested in the whole creature, just the patela from its hinged wing  joint.  We’ll pay 10 ISK a pair to anyone who delivers them.”

No one has taken Toll up on his offer yet, although it is still circulating through the backstreets.  When asked why he was interested in tree-nipper bones, Toll laughed. “Haven’t you ever diced with bones? It’s the old way; the best way.  That’s where we get our name from, you know.”

The derevin has made its name and fortune from running dice games throughout the greater Port Oswin area.  “In the old days, we only used tree-nipper bones for dice,” he explains. “We’d do it again, if they were plentiful and cheap. And right now, it looks like they are.”

Will bones soon replace the polished synthcubes used in dicing? They will if Toll has his way.  “Can’t be soon enough for me,” agrees bonepicker Gela.  “Someone has to do something about these beasts, and you know it won’t be the government any time soon.”

Cavo Burrix, reporting

New tour company Zann Express opens their doors this weekend. “We’re specializing in entertainment,” says Director Teyo Garn. “It’s about time someone catered to the tourists we get who are looking for the elite nightlife in this great city of ours.”

As the political and financial capital of the CAS Sector, Lyndir is the hub of tourist trade in the region as well as business and trans-sector traffic. While many tour and travel companies serve Port Oswin, few specialize in the many vibrant night spots of the city.

“From fine dining to music, shows, gaming and the shigasue, Port Oswin has it all,” says Garn. “Our tour guides escort private parties and small groups to the best entertainment within a given budget and risk range. Who else can take a newcomer to the Shelieno or the Down-Market district after midnight, and show them the time of their lives?”

Zann Express is accepting advance bookings, and invites interested parties to contact a tour concierge for reservations. Ping NexNode ZX-H773-A for more information.